It isn't the unrequited love

2:06 AM Cassie 0 Comments

...but she thought the hardest part
of this unrequited love
was to know that he will never love her back.
It isn't.

In the process of getting to the phase of acceptance,
she felt that it wasn't that.

It was waking up every single day
and wondering about the "what-could-have-beens"
if he loved her back.
It was looking at the ceiling
while she was lying on her bed,
and imagining that different kind of smile he never gave to her.
It was trying to be happy for him
when he tells her stories about that girl,
when in truth, she was just being pierced through by his every word.
It was thinking about the best and worst times together,
and realizing that they will never happen again,
and their dreams together will remain that way-- just dreams.

It was remembering an old memory
and having no one to remember it with, just like they used to.
It was getting jealous
when she knows she shouldn't be,
because she is his friend-- a friend,
the most shattering way to be called by a man she loved beyond the universe.
It was slowly moving on
from a past that has never became her present.
It was letting go of someone
that she never got a hold of.

All of those are what hurt the most;
are the hardest parts of being in love with someone
who will always be in love,
but never with her