Suddenly

7:40 PM Cassie 0 Comments

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Years of being with you
made me feel like I have known you
all my life.
I have seen you in your worst
and in your best,
and I thought that was my best edge:
I know you better than anyone else.

But suddenly,
I noticed something shifted.
Suddenly,
you have become a different person.
Suddenly,
you stopped caring for me.
Suddenly,
I don't matter to you anymore.
Suddenly,
constant reassurance is no longer my prerogative
from you.
Suddenly,
I just couldn't go to you with no reason.
Suddenly,
all those years we had don't matter anymore.
Suddenly,
I just don't know you.

One day,
you just became that person I cannot recognize.
When I look at you,
I see the same person from years ago,
the same person I was with for so long,
but the feeling you give to me is now different.
I can't help but to wonder,
have this really happened over night?
Or were you wanting to be like this
for so long?
When I look at you,
the traces, the scars I have seen in you
are still in their right places.

But your heartbeat seems to be misplaced
or maybe, repositioned.
The character in you that I used to love
so much have vanished so fast,
I didn't even notice right away.
How come that it's still the same you
I am talking about here
yet nothing feels right?
Have you been wanting to be someone else
for too long?

Suddenly,
your familiarity no longer calms me down.
Suddenly,
your scent no longer hugs my system.
Suddenly,
your smile no longer makes me ecstatic.
Suddenly,
I have noticed the downward lines on your face.
Suddenly,
I have seen a different you
and knowing you for so long is no longer important.

Suddenly,
I no longer feel safe in your arms
because every time I'm as close as I used to be with you,
I feel the longing in myself,
but the comfort could not be found anywhere.
Suddenly,
I just want to escape from your touch
because nothing feels right anymore.
At least not like it used to be.

I wonder what happened,
and where it started.
Still, I cannot figure out the right answers,
but I wish I could,
I wish I'd know and I'd understand
why all of a sudden,
when I woke up a day after we're fine
the previous day,
you're no longer that same person I know
from years ago.