It's alright to feel that way
It hurts to fall in love with someone who could never be ours to keep as long as we want to. It hurts that we know that at some point, they can never love us back the way we want them to. But what hurts the most is that it feels like we are always hiding a top secret in falling with them. We can't let them know and we get hurt without them knowing. At times, we feel like it's wrong to love them in the first place, but could never stop doing so anyway. And sometimes, even if we're jealous as hell that it shatters us from the inside out, we feel like we do not have the right to feel jealous or hurt at all.
But the truth is, we do.
We do have the right to feel jealous. It's fine to be hurt by the feelings we didn't choose to feel. Trying to stop a feeling at its peak is always the hardest part.
You love him and it's your choice to keep loving him, despite everything else in between. We are free to love someone who is not ours to call our own, even if he might belong to someone else at this moment already. For as long as you know the downside of loving a man of another, it is never wrong to feel jealous. But the only consequence of this downside is that, we can never blame that person for causing us the pain we are experiencing right now because we chose to love that person anyway. We might have already know right from the beginning that this could happen, that there is a huge possibility of falling into a pit we've let ourselves into.
It could not be wrong to feel jealous even if he is not yours. Point is, jealousy and pain aren't bragging rights or something like that, they are feelings we all have a tendency to feel in the process of falling in love with someone so much. But I hope we do know our limitations in loving this person. We can not blame them for causing you to feel that your world has been shattered. We can not just come up to them and slap right in their face the truth of you getting jealous and drag them away from whoever. We just can't. The worst that could happen is feel jealous, get shattered and not be able to do anything about it.
But believe me, you can always own the feeling of being jealous. You're human. And in love. Just don't let yourself do something that will torn your world apart. Be jealous all right, but keep in yourself the fact that it's a feeling you can only allow yourself to feel, but remember that you cannot claim it right at him. He isn't yours, and he even probably doesn't know that you want him to be yours.
Just keep in mind that you are not alone in feeling jealous and getting hurt with someone who isn't theirs. There are a lot more out there who are maybe experience a lot worse that you do. So, be strong and face the downsides of falling in love.
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