She's lost -- again
Suddenly, out of nowhere,she feels not enough again,
she feels useless,
she feels confused.
Out of nowhere,
she pushes everyone out of her life again,
scared of things she cannot explain,
and so shuts out the people who care for her.
Out of nowhere,
she feels the need to isolate herself again,
because it is as if she is never good enough
for the people who show her too much affection.
She spends time -- so much time,
trying to figure out what is happening for the nth time.
And she still can't,
and she starts to wonder if this is only a feeling of hers,
or is this at some point a truth?
She seems to not find herself again,
just like all the other times she felt this way,
and despite the redundancy,
she still has no answer for this.
Once more,
she stops with her life and figure things out,
figure herself out,
and nothing still makes sense.
She needs more time to understand,
more time to feel adequate,
but she hopes that her small circle
could wait that much time,
until she could finally figure out
why she is feeling this way.
She is again lost
amidst the bright land she is standing on,
amidst the bright people she is with,
amidst the bright light her eyes could see.
She is the dark house in a bright community,
and she has no explanation why she remained unlit
in a well-lit surrounding.
She hopes, and hopes, and hopes,
even if sometimes she runs out of it,
that she will be part of that bright community, too,
that she will see through herself
and finally understand
why she is never enough,
why she is useless,
why she is confused,
and why she keeps shutting all of the people
out of her circle.
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